Tuesday, February 12, 2008

On the Maryland-Virginia primaries

Cthulhu reflects upon the most recent electoral madness. It is droll. Some will flee or cower in terror while others don robes, sharpen knives and purchase medieval looking candles that were manufactured in the Far East. We love to cast our many-eyed gaze upon this inchoate activity! We imagine that this contented feeling We feel is not unlike what those humans who are still living in the blissful ignorance of their impending doom experience as they consume bloated and "popped" seeds of corn, drizzled with solidified fat that was meant for the nourishment bovine spawn, but now only lubricates and tantalizes the mindless as they sit before their television, watching meaningless entertainment. As doom lurks... Ah.... Ah... delicious.

On the other tentacle, those who embrace their impending doom also provide amusement, but of a different... flavor. The terror they inspire, -- that they are no longer capable of feeling with their fractured minds -- why, it is a sweet savor! And I will gather them to me, when they have done their work, in that same embrace that the other fled in such amusing panic.

Evil you are and evil you must have! The Obama, it is evil. The McCain, it is evil. The Clinton, it is an old and very great evil indeed. But have a one of these lesser evils ever sucked the hot marrow from a dying star, dooming entire races of sapient beings to the grasping ice of the aybss that is the Void? Have they run their tentacles into the sweet, smoking blood of screaming virgins as their conclave of priesteses shriek in mindless Maenadian passion? (Any of them besides the Clinton, that is.) And well we all know that it was not the Obama, the McCain or even the Clinton whose insidious dreams inspired the president of a certain record company to unleash the unmitigated horror that is Maroon 5 on the world.

No, you will vote for Cthulhu because you have no choice... for I am the Greater Evil!